Anger Management for Teens

If you're parenting an angry teen, do you feel you might as well head up a down escalator for all the progress you're making? How about we let you in on a little-known secret? You're getting the silent treatment from your –hostile, sullen, rude, cranky, stubborn – teenager because of fear.

She is no longer a child; he is not yet an adult. They are trying to find themselves, to establish their identity. Teens must deal with getting good grades, competitive sports and peer pressure to try addictive substances.

The teen brain is in flux. The frontal lobe of the brain, the reasoner, decision maker and impulse controller isn't totally connected yet. Recent studies show neural development isn't finished until the mid 20s.

Perhaps you can better understand your teen's fear now. As a concerned parent, you are coming from a place of love.

Wash Away Anger

Hand washing is our main defense against disease. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has found we don't wash our hands long enough. They advise singing the Happy Birthday song two times while we wash.

Casually share this with your teen. Remark that every little thing gets on your nerves lately. It would seem impossible to remain annoyed while singing the birthday song. You're going to try it. What does he/she think?

Let the conversation take its course. She may wish to share some of her issues, or not. But, knowing teens, you'll likely hear him humming later.

Pull Rank

When nothing else works, pull rank. Set a date and time for an outing. Accept no excuses.

Find a neutral zone such as, a walk in the forest or sitting by the lake. Hold hands and be silent. Talking topics:

Nurture self esteem: What are five of your positive qualities?

Open communication: Would the thing you're angry about matter in 5 years? Why? If not, does it make sense to waste energy on it?

Color therapy: If you were a color, what would it be? Both close eyes. Breathe in the color and blow it out vigorously .This exercise diminishes the anger reflex and can be done anywhere, anytime.

Waiting it out: Did you know our anger response lasts about two seconds? Talk about ways to wait out the anger. Get a drink of water? Sing the birthday song?

Beat it out: Take a stick or golf club with you. Invite your teen to whack away at a tree. This is a healthy way to let anger out. Discuss how she/he feels afterward